Be You (tiful): Archive

Feb 29th

144,609 notes

2 tags

I'm just gonna say this about Rick Santorum.

psstnotkelso: I’m not a politician and I never hope to be, but if I ever was one, I would probably, oh…I dunno… not base my entire platform on my hate of all the personal and civil rights that have been in place since before I was even a spermy floating along in my daddy’s junk. I’d also probably not use my asshole as my mouth.

Feb 29th

44 notes

Feb 29th

23,780 notes

1 tag

Feb 28th

27,239 notes

Feb 28th

82,906 notes

1 tag

Feb 28th

36,903 notes

Feb 28th

344 notes

1 tag

Feb 28th

2,932 notes

Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because.  Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN.  You can buy condoms by the dozens.  Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure."  Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours.  Here, try these.  They have ribs on them.  And this one glows in the dark!!  LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!  
Government: But seriously, you're a man.  You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.